Mystery Gift Box #004 | The Discipline of Action

Hey friends,

Not going to lie… I am too tired and busy to come up with an intro for this week’s newsletter; just finished two full-day of psychotherapy workshop plus I have a paper deadline to complete by the end of today.

Sooo….

Continuing from last week, this week is on the second discipline of the stoic work; The Discipline of Action.

The stoic work can be organised into three disciplines:

1. The Discipline of Perception (how we perceive the world around us)

2. The Discipline of Action (the decisions and actions we take)

3. The Discipline of Will (how we deal with things outside of our control, have clear judgements, and a true understanding of our role in the world)

All three disciplines focus on things that are within our control; by controlling our perceptions, we get mental clarity and strength; by controlling our action, we are effective; and by controlling our will, we are ready to deal with anything that comes from the external world.

The Discipline of Action

May to August are the months for the Discipline of Action. Here are 4 of my favourite meditations; one from each month:

3rd May - Show, Not Tell, What You Know (Right Action)

Acquiring new knowledge is fun and exciting but until those knowledge has been put into practice (more importantly, become a part of who you are if fits), then the new knowledge is nothing more than a longer version of motivational quotes.

As you learn new things, test them, apply them, and adopt them. That’s the real reason for acquiring knowledge through reading books, listening to podcasts, etc.

15th June - Listening Accomplishes More Than Speaking (Problem Solving)

When you speak, you are almost always repeating what you already know. If you want to maximise learning, ask more questions and listen. That doesn’t mean you treat every conversation as an interview… but it’s useful to be cautious that when you speak too much, unless there’s a good reason to do so, you are minimising your learning from the other person.

17th July - Don’t Abandon Others… or Yourself (Duty)

I learned more about the drama and winners triangle today. I need more time to think about it but my biggest takeaway here is which triangle are you AND your partner in respectively.

If both you and your partner are in the drama triangle, then there’s an “alignment” in terms of the role you play; for example, you are the rescuer and your partner is the victim. When there’s an alignment, there won’t be conflict and things can appear to be smooth. This is similar to the above where, when everyone is eating unhealthily, there will be a natural smooth alignment about the choice of restaurant (for example). It’s smooth and no drama but it doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

If both you and your partner are in the winners triangle, there’s also an alignment in the roles you two play and things are also smooth. In this case, things are also healthy.

Drama and conflict exists when there’s a misalignment between the triangle you and your partner operates in; if you are in the drama triangle and your partner is in the winners triangle. (…will make a future newsletter on this once I learn more about it)

If you work really hard to be in the winners triangle, don’t abandon yourself for others but at the same time, be more empathetic towards others because you were once in the drama triangle. This is hard…

24th August - Pillage From All Sources (Pragmatism)

I took this for granted… it seems that not everyone is open-minded to all sources of information and care a lot more about the origin of information… especially in the context of religion texts.

I don’t care where I acquire my knowledge as long as the knowledge helps me with what I want to achieve.

Does it make my life better? Yes.

Does it make me better? Yes.

Then I am open to it.

Have interesting gems you want to share with me and others? Share it by replying to this email and I will include it in the next gift box :)

With love,

Ryan O. 🎮

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