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- Mystery Gift Box #035 | Dharma Comes First But...
Mystery Gift Box #035 | Dharma Comes First But...
The best hidden gems I've found; interesting ideas and concepts, thought-provoking questions, mind-blowing books/podcasts, cool animes/films, and other mysteries ❤️
Hey friends,
Dharma.
The intersection of passion, expertise, and service. To be the best version of yourself, you need to be living in your dharma and pursue your purpose calling. Your dharma defines you; it’s who you are.
Dharma is one of the four fundamental pursuits that move us forward in life.
Dharma — values and purpose calling
Artha — development of self
Kama — pleasure and connection with others
Moksha — liberation from the material world when you connect with the spirit
A common question is dharma (purpose) comes first or relationship comes first?
Your purpose has to come first for you, and your partner’s purpose has to come first for them. Then, you come together with the positive energy and stability that come from pursuing your purposes
In a relationship, we must be careful that neither partner loses track of what they care about, what they value, and what makes them feel true to themselves.
So dharma comes first.
But in practice, this is hard to execute. It’s the same as people know that eating healthy and exercising frequently is good for their body but most people don’t do it. It’s important to put dharma first to have a healthy relationship in the long-run but in the short-run I also just want to enjoy the sweet loving moments and be free…
I caught myself in this black-and-white thinking.
The “this is the right thing you should do” vs “this is the wrong thing you should not be doing”. This constant inner conflict can be damaging and bad for mental health over time. A healthier way to look at things could be…
Present and Awareness.
Present — Enjoy the present moment for two reasons: (1) You only get to experience a moment once. Each moment is unique and so you never get to experience the same moment twice. This is a good reminder to cherish key moments and be grateful for them ❤️ (2) You are not guarantee the future. You never know what will happen in the future so enjoy the present moment… you don’t need to optimise for the future all the time.
Awareness — I believe in intentional living; lifestyle gamification. So as long as you are aware of things and make your choices intentionally, you are doing the best you can and that’s the best you can do 🔥
P.S. One of the reasons why I love writing newsletters is because it helps me crystallise my learning and thinking AND it gives me a chance to talk to myself and understand my actions and feelings.
The Four Stages of Love
Learn to Love Yourself
Learn to Love Others
Learn to Love Through Struggle
Learn to Love Everyone
⛰ 4-4-4 Exploration Project
Each month, I would explore one new thing; a skill, a subject, or an experience.
January 2023: Writing and Storytelling (Subject) ✅
February 2023: KURIOS – Cabinet of Curiosities (Cirque Du Soleil — Experience) ✅
March 2023: 28 Days of Cold Exposure (Subject and Experience) ✅
April 2023: Complete Growth / Product Marketing Course (Subject) 🟧
📚 This week, I finished reading…
Have interesting gems you want to share with me and others? Share it by replying to this email and I will include it in the next gift box :)
With love,
Ryan O. 🎮
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