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- Mystery Gift Box #041 | The 10 Things That Get in the Way of Wholehearted Living
Mystery Gift Box #041 | The 10 Things That Get in the Way of Wholehearted Living
The best hidden gems I've found; interesting ideas and concepts, thought-provoking questions, mind-blowing books/podcasts, cool animes/films, and other mysteries ❤️
Hey friends,
Wholehearted Living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
Wholehearted Living.
It’s what we all want. Yet, we all struggle with the feeling of not being good enough or the feeling that we don’t deserve love. I remember reading some studies that says that most mental challenges can be trace back to the common feeling of not being good enough.
In the book The Gifts of Imperfections by Brene Brown, she argues that to live wholeheartedly, we need to first be aware of the things that get in the way of wholehearted living; here are the 10 things listed in the book:
Letting Go of What People Think — Cultivating Authenticity
Letting Go of Perfectionism — Cultivating Self-Compassion
Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness — Cultivating a Resilient Spirit
Letting Go of Scarcity and Fears of the Dark — Cultivating Gratitude and Joy
Letting Go of the Need for Certainty — Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith
Letting Go of Comparison — Cultivating Creativity
Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth — Cultivating Play and Rest
Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle — Cultivating Calm and Stillness
Letting Go of Self-Doubt and “Supposed To” — Cultivating Meaningful Work
Letting Go of Being Cool and “Always in Control” — Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance
💥 Self-Compassion Test by Dr. Kristin Neff
Practicing self-compassion is one way to overcome perfectionism and critical & shameful inner voice.
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion has three elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. For each element, there’s a counter-force; self-judgment, isolation, and over-identification respectively.
Self-kindness — Being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or attack ourselves with self-criticism
Common humanity — recognises that suffering and feelings of personal inadequacy are part of shared human experience that everyone goes through
Mindfulness — Approach negative feelings without neither suppressing it or exaggerating it since we can’t ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. We don’t want to over-identify with our thoughts and feelings so that we are filled with negativity
You can take the short self-compassion test by Dr. Kristin Neff at https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/. I like that it’s a quick and simple test and gives you a good starting point as to how to become more self-compassionate ❤️
Here are my results 🤓
Self-Kindness vs Self-Judgment: 2.00 vs 2.80
I have low self-kindness AND relative high self-judgment 🥺
Common Humanity vs isolation: 1.25 vs 2.25
I have very low common humanity AND somewhat high isolation 🤨
Mindfulness vs Over-Identification: 2.50 vs 3.00
I have an okay mindfulness but very high over-identification 👀
⛰ 4-4-4 Exploration Project
Each month, I would explore one new thing; a skill, a subject, or an experience.
January 2023: Writing and Storytelling (Subject) ✅
February 2023: KURIOS – Cabinet of Curiosities (Cirque Du Soleil — Experience) ✅
March 2023: 28 Days of Cold Exposure (Subject and Experience) ✅
April 2023: Complete Growth / Product Marketing Course (Subject) 🟥
May 2023: LL project (Skill + Subject) ✅
June 2023: LL project 2 (Skill + Subject) 🟧
📚 This week, I finished reading…
Have interesting gems you want to share with me and others? Share it by replying to this email and I will include it in the next gift box :)
With love,
Ryan O. 🎮
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